Being the Mother of a Specially Able Child

I do not like the term disabled. Especially when applied to the beautiful children that I see as specially able. They are not disabled. Their spirits are specially able to lift us, encourage us, and inspire us. The path that they walk is one of pain and heartache, yet they bear it with gladness and teach us with their souls. It is one of the most beautiful and powerful things I have ever seen in my entire life.

My mother is the mother of a specially able child. Today, I want to talk about what that means. This is a glimpse through my eyes. This is how I see things. It may not apply to all cases, but it certainly applies to my mother. So this is what it means to be the mother of a specially able child:

It means joy. It means pain. It means sleepless nights and stressful days. It means you cling to hope. It means you believe in your child and their ability. It means that the first part of your routine is helping your child. It means that the scene of a doctor's office is an all-too-familiar sight to see. It means driving to therapies about once every day, five times a week. It means thousands of doctor's appointments and hundreds of therapies. It means a planner is must and schedules are tight to coordinate. It means loving your child and cherishing the moments you have together. It means fighting for your child with all your mama bear instincts. It means navigating the politics of medicine and figuring who and what is best for your child. It means hospital stays and bad news. It means celebrating the little things. It means holding their hand through life. It means that you believe in God. It means that you believe in miracles, for your precious child is one. It means you hope and you love and you feel deeply. You will never ever give up on your child. You love them fiercely and defend them like a warrior with all the grace and tact in the world. It means you never stop dreaming for them and helping them become.

Ultimately, being the mother of a specially able child means hope. It means you have a firm hope for your child and you do all you can for them.  They deserve the best life they can have, and you strive for that. No matter how dark and hopeless the outlook seems, you see the light. And you pursue it.

That pursuit lasts a lifetime. There are no holidays, no breaks. Not a moment to stop and breathe. It is a 24/7 job that pushes you to your max. There are times when you might break, but you always pull through. Your greatest reward is the sparkle in their eyes, the smile on their face, and hearing them speak those precious words: "I love you." Then, in that moment, it is all worth it. All the pain. All the stress. All the sleepless nights. All the drama. All the hospital stays. All the worry. All of it. It's all worth it. For truly: You love your child.

The most beautiful and strong people that I have ever met are mothers of specially able children. It takes a special kind of soul to love that much, hope for the world, and never stop believing. Their job is thankless, yet it is powerful. If you ever want to know a true woman, meet the mother of a specially able child. They are refined and kind. They will believe in you and fight for you. They will love you. I have been inexpressibly blessed to know many of these mothers. Some I've only known briefly. Others I've become close to. All are brilliant. They are true women. They are true Daughters of God.

To all of these dear and precious and wonderful human beings who are mothers of specially able children:

Thank you. 

Those two words aren't enough to express all the love and thanks in my heart. Thank you for ALL that you do. I can't even list it here. But you know exactly what that means. And I thank you for it. For all of it. You are wonderful. You are so important. You are a breathtaking human being. Thank you for inspiring me. I may only be one person, but this one person sees your struggles and heartaches and how much you care. And I thank you for it. <3

These are just a few of the incredible mothers who I have been talking about: (There are quite a few that I couldn't find pictures of. . .might need to brush up on my social media stalking skills XD :P)









They have touched me and inspired me more than they realize.

Olivia Jensen

Hey there.
Today's different. Why? Because I decided it would be. And isn't that wonderful? :) No really. Today is different on this blog because I'm going to just thank one person very specifically for everything she does and all she is. I am incredibly blessed to have a wonderful human being named Olivia Jensen in my life. This young woman, you all, this young woman is powerful. She's a life changing individual. Her birthday was last week, so this post is a couple days late, but it gave me the opportunity to really ponder on and pick out what I am most thankful for in her.

1) She is passionate. She will greet you with an excitement and happiness that is simply contagious. (All caps greetings are her specialty XD)

     

See what I mean? How lovely she is. :) Her passion for life is so strong and constant. It ignites my own passion. Life is a grand adventure and she is an adventurer in it. She keeps her eyes open to the wonders of the earth and her soul open to the magnificence of the heavens.

2) She is SO INTELLIGENT. Her brilliance is clearly seen. The quality of her thoughts is astounding. The intelligence of this young lady is beyond her years. She is a deep thinker and truth seeker. Her constant ponderings and realizations add to the world she sees. She has a unique perspective. No one can quite see the world like Olivia Jensen.

3) The woman can write! She shares her thoughts in the most beautiful, beautiful form. She has a wonderful blog that I just adore. You will get to see a part of her world and to read of her fantastic ideas. I'm always left pondering and so inspired. Aah. I HIGHLY recommend reading through it. <3

4) She will give you chills and absolutely transport you with her incredible piano skillz. (Yes, I used a z instead of an s. Why? Because I mean it.) Story time, children: I went with Olivia to one of her recitals back in November. It was seriously so incredible. She did a duet with her brother Josh and the two of them just blew my mind. The amount of talent they have is totally unreal. I absolutely loved being there and was just in awe. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. I loved it so much and had such a radical time. <3

5) SHE IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH. I cannot even. Just. Ah. Cue influx of Olivia spam. It's the best kind on Earth. :)

  

  

  

  

  

My heart. . . 

6) She has the light of Christ in her and it shines forth in everything she does. She is an absolute light in my life. I have loved going to the Temple with her and speaking of Christ together. She has a scripture for virtually everything. And the most incredible insights on each of them. Her testimony is powerful!!!! You can see it in the way she lives her life. She radiates the light of Christ.

7) She will take time for you. She's got a life and is very busy, but when she makes time for you, she makes time for you. You have her full and undivided attention. I love how valued she makes each person feel. When you are with her, you are truly with her. I feel purely appreciated and listened to whenever I talk with her.

8) She will bring out the best in you. And I mean the VERY best in you. She always makes you feel empowered and encouraged. I have become SO MUCH better than I ever thought I could since I met Olivia. I have been kinder, gentler, and better. I am more thoughtful. I am more selfless. I am more joyful. Oh she has filled my life with such light and goodness. She has inspired me to constantly try a little harder to be a little better. That is truly rare and wonderful.

9) Her art will enthrall you and hold you captive in their magical world for hours. I swear she must know some secret incantations to make her art come to life....or that she's just ridiculously talented. Both are probable. The first time I saw her art was before I even really knew her. My older brother showed it to me. He was impressed and so was I. She is very skillful and I am just so thoroughly thrilled with the beauty that she creates through her art. It's amazing, to say the least. You HAVE to see it on her website. It's a teeny bit outdated, but still incredible. She also has an Instagram page that she posts art updates on that just makes my day. :D

10) She will melt your heart with her gorgeous voice. Okay this one is possibly my favorite. I have had the privilege of hearing Olivia sing a few times in my life. Every single time I just melt inside. Her voice is incredibly excellent. I really can't even describe it. When she sings, she testifies. Particularly of Christ. She's a soprano and I'm alto, so we never stand together in choir. Except for this one time. We had a Saturday rehearsal and I stood right in front of her for the first part of it. I honestly did not do much singing for that first bit. I was so emotional I couldn't sing. I just let her beautiful, beautiful voice wash over me in all its power and testimony. It was so marvelous.

11) Basically, she's the most wonderful human being to know and I love her. She's so lovely. And so brilliant. And so delightful. She has made me so much better. I have become so much more because of her. She builds me up always. I want to be more like her. I love her.


Olivia Jensen. Thank you. FOR EVERYTHING.

She Has Fire Inside

I had always admired those who had this inner flame in them. Who lived with fire. I admired those who left their lives in blazing trails of glory. I wanted to be like those who debated with a passion akin to a space dragon on fire. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be fiery, fierce, and passionate. I hoped to be able to powerfully brand ideas in words presented with passion. I had thought and hoped that someday my fire would add to the glorious passion I saw.

I wanted to find the fire inside of me. 

I wanted and hoped and wished to be like them. I wanted to be fiery, fierce, and passionate. As I went throughout this debate course, I searched with increasing urgency for this fire inside of me. I wanted to debate with passion, logic, and power. I worked incredibly hard. I prepared as much as I could for each debate. I wanted for this fire to come out of me. I lost every debate. This fierceness that I longed for evaded me. I did not find the burning inferno I sought.

Yet, I have fire inside of me. 

My fire wasn't meant to burn or destroy. It wasn't meant to leave my life seared by flame. It wasn't meant to leave things simply ashes of what they were. It wasn't meant to be fiery and powerfully branding. My fire was meant to give warmth and heat. My fire was meant to draw people by it's light. My fire was meant to encourage others to draw near to me, and not further away. At times my fire will burn or singe, but such is the nature of fire. My fire was meant to burn bright. My fire was meant to warm and to heal.

If I am to be completely vulnerable and flawed here, I was not thrilled by this discovery. I wanted to awe people with my fire. I wanted to show them a side of me that they wouldn't expect. I wanted so deeply for this fierce fire to be inside of me. I felt frustrated by the gentleness of my nature. I longed to be seen as a force worth reckoning with, and not simply mediocre. I didn't want this. I didn't want this gentle flame. I wanted to find an edge to me. I wanted to find that I could have just as much grit, just as much passion, as those whom I so admired for their flaming passion.

But I am learning. 

Ohhhhhhh I am learning. 

I have learned that there are many kinds of fire. I learned that the gentle ones, though often overlooked and stepped upon, are important. They make a difference. I learned that my fire is needed. I learned that my fire was given to me for a reason. My fire gives light. My fire keeps others warm. There is value in that.  The healers are needed in this world. The illuminaters of the path are needed. While vastly unseen and largely unrecognized, they are there. The power of healing is just as powerful as the power of destroying. Perhaps it is more powerful: I would advocate that it is so. For many can tear down; few can build.

And thus it is that I discovered there was fire inside of me. Now tell me, for I am insatiably curious, what is your fire? 

Just A Few Words. . .

. . .Sometimes. . .

Sometimes, it is those who love the most that are hurt the deepest. 

Sometimes, it is those who smile the brightest that feel the most dark inside. 

Sometimes, it is those who have it all together that are really falling apart. 

Sometimes, it is those who reach out the most that need the greatest amount of love. 

Sometimes, it is those who seem whole that are shattered inside. 

Sometimes, it is those who appear to succeed who are failing. 

Sometimes, it is those who seem to be living the life that are really dying inside.

Sometimes, we just don't see things as they really are. 

May we ever be a little kinder, a little gentler; a little better.