I am a simple young woman with many fears. I fear what you will think. I worry that my words will not lift you. I am ashamed of the clumsiness of my words and the unsteadiness of my hands as I type. But today, in this moment, I am putting aside those fears.
There is scant light in this room and a soft glow is emanating from the screen. I type timidly, not wanting to wake my sleeping sister in her hospital bed. The pillows piled so high and blankets layered so thick that I can just see a glimpse of her forehead.
The serenity of this scene is newly established. Just moments ago I was holding Faithe's hand as she lay shivering and murmuring in pain. Those are the moments that hurt me the most. There I stand, at her bedside, perfectly healthy and well. Unable to do a thing but hold her hand tight and hope that somehow the deepness of my love for her can course through my fingers into her and help her find relief. I wanted to cry and tears threateningly filled my eyes. But I held them in. For her. Even now, as I type, they fill my eyes and blur the screen. And, I must confess, one escaped.
There have been many scenes like this. So many in this past year that they seem to all string together like one of those old fashioned film rolls. I do not tell you this to gain your sympathy or condolences. I just want to let you know that Christ's peace is real.
I have felt it. I feel it now. Even as my heart feels like it is about to break, I feel His peace. It is a gift more precious to me than any Earthly thing.
Throughout this year, I have often hungered for security. I wished for Faithe's health to be steady and secure. I longed to establish daily routines for her care that would allow for progress. The unexpected hospital stays and bad news gnawed at my heart. I thought that security would bring peace. But it doesn't. He, Jesus Christ, the Savior of this world brings peace.
There are two scriptures that have always brought me up. Even as I read them for the millionth time, peace and joy and love enters my heart. First, in John chapter 14 verse 27:
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Of all the things I could try to say about this, all I have to say is simply: It's true. I have felt this peace. I have felt HIS peace. I feel it now. And in a world of chaos and among great tumult, His peace is secure. Is this not one of His most precious gifts?! That we, though we know so little of the world and the future, might have peace. The beauty of this promise fills my heart and gives me courage again.
I pray that you, wherever you are reading this and whoever you are, might feel of His peace. The future is uncertain but what is certain is that He will be there. Today, Tomorrow, and Always. May we have the strength to stand by His side and bear well our trials.
The nurse just came in and we're going to try to re-position Faithe in her bed so she is in less pain, so I shall just leave you all with this incredible scripture in John, chapter 16, verse 33:
"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
